Randomness

Another month? What is wrong with me?!?! I was really feeling like I was getting back into a groove with the whole blogworld. Sigh...

I'll be better this time.

Maybe.

Let's make a list of our happenings, shall we?

1. Our strollers have found new homes, and we have found this rockstar. If you're in the market for a stroller, consider this one. It is a single stroller, but with a simple backseat attachment can turn into a doubledecker. Phil and Ted, thank you for your brilliance. Seriously, go to this website and check out the capabilities of this thing. It's worth every penny!!

2. Avery is going through nine month sleep regression , and I'm bordering on crazy. For the last week and a half, she's been nursing 4-6 hours a night. Last night we got away with only 4 sessions, and she actually detached in between, which is a step. Yes, I realize I could let her cry it out and that this might be over. But we're not doing that for many reasons, so I'm trying to make peace with profound exhaustion. Trying.

3. Gracen has a visitation with her possible new school next week. I'm really not excited about the idea of leaving her current school, but there's a lot to be said about proximity. And this is an amazing school too. I just don't know if I'm ready to let her be gone from us 5 days a week yet, and that is our only option there.

4. Avery is getting closer and closer to walking. She's standing for short periods of time and will "walk" if pushing something. Sister needs to slow this mess down! She also has no teeth, which may be part of her current misery and clinginess.

5. I need a new computer. Desperately.

6. Ghi-ghi came to visit after her month in Rwanda and Tanzania. The pictures are amazing and worth the time of a slide show if you're around her. Gracen was quite impressed with the safari pictures.

7. Mama needs a nap because I'm having a really hard time writing complete sentences. Both babies are in bed at the moment, and if I want to make up for the 3 hours a night I'm averaging, I should probably go put forth a solid effort.

8. Avery Ana just woke up. Dang it!!

Snow Angel

Happy Thursday! We've been hit with snow, and though it is melting quite quickly, I'm still a little giddy. This just doesn't happen here. When she awoke, Gracen stared out of the window for a few minutes silently, until she said, "Dis is awesome!" Yes, it was. She talked to her Aunt Belle on the phone last night. When I told her to tell about making snow angels, she said, "I do like this (hike dis)," and she dropped to the bathroom floor to make an angel. LOVE this child.

We spent Inauguration day with the neighbors, eating, drinking, playing, and welcoming our new President. Gracen and Walker spent much time sledding under the guidance of Adam. Both told me that they went "too fast."

I am hoping to take the girls out this afternoon, but Avery and I have cold. I think the ick is clearing out, so perhaps some cold fresh air will just heal us up already. It's a shame to let these inches go unplayed in. We've made three batches of snow cream so far, and I'm pretty sure some will be on the menu for dinner tonight.

(Adam, if you're reading this, please pick up some vanilla and diapers on your way home).

Strollers for Sale!!!!

These two lovelies are soon to be auctioned off on Craigslist if no one here bites. You'll get a better deal if you know me. The first up for grabs is the Baby Trend Expedition Travel System. It sells for $200 and we have an extra base ($40). We'll be listing it for $150. I LOVE this stroller and it has gone many miles. One of its best features is the sun shade, which rotates all the way forward to keep the sun out of the wee one's eyes. Most do not do this. And it is very nice having the option of putting the infant seat in there when you're wanting to go for a walk and not wanting to wake a sleeping baby. And some babies just want to look at their Mama and Papa whilst strolling.

The bases can be used with the lock system or a standard shoulder or lapbelt.

This bad boy is a heck of a stroller. Unfortunately, we don't have storage space, so both strollers are living in my Tahoe. When the groceries were piled on top of Avery in the back seat the other day, I finally accepted that we need to downsize. I love the side-by-side concept, and the girls love it. I just don't really want something this large anymore. It is great for a jogger because it is much higher than most, which takes away some of the awkwardness of running while pushing. There are a few mildew stains above the footrest from spending a week on our sunless, damp porch (not bad, but the vinegar and oxyclean won't get it all out). We bought it for $350, have a $50 sun/bug cover and an infant padded insert ($50). We'll be asking $300.

So, if you're interested, let us know and make an offer. If you're in Asheville, we'll be making a trip within the next month or so and could bring it your way!!

Nerdfest '09

The daddyman is off at an intellectual retreat where the discussions will be centered around fluvial geomorphology and all the glorious things that may encompass. He's spent this past week reading 19 academic papers in preparation for his event. Let me be clear: this is not a work related event; he's doing this for pleasure. If you ask Gracen where her daddy is right now, she says "Adam's gone to Nerdfest."

She's calling us by our first names right now.

About a week ago, Gracen started coming into Avery's room to sleep in the middle of the night. Since the boy has been gone, I've just kept the Ave up a little later and put she and Gracen to bed in the same room. Gracen will tell her baby stories to "help her not be sad." It's worked out great so far. (Let us not go into Avery falling out of the bed the other morning...) We have been discussing the idea of them sharing a room at some point, so perhaps we're already there. Gracen shows no signs of wanting to return to her room. My hope is that soon Avery will drop her midnight feedings, and I'll be able to stay in "Daddy's room" all night. Even a king size bed seems awfully small with two little people attached to you all night.

My mother and step-father are in Africa for the month. They're helping to build a village in Rwanda through Rotary International. At the moment, they are on safari in Tanzania. Gracen has been pretend 'going to Africa' for the last couple of weeks. Judi and Jim seem to be having an amazing time, as we've been able to get occasional email updates and newsletters. I've not heard anything for a few days, so I'm hoping my mother hasn't decided to go for a run in the jungle and gotten herself lost. We tried to emphasize that while she's a quick little runner, big animals might still see her as prey and they run a hell of a lot faster than she does. I don't feel normal if I don't talk to my mommy at least once a day.

Daddy--Pease come home quickly and safely. We miss you. Love--your girls

Hiya.

Avery Ana just wanted to say hello, as she was left out of the blog the other day. Here she is, being adorable. We went to the doctor for a nurses visit for shots (we're still doing the alternate vaccine schedule), and she has been pitiful today. She needs to be held constantly and is refusing all non-mommy food. Poor, sweet girl. Gracen told me I wasn't nice for giving Avie shots. She's probably right.

She's also up to 16lb 13.5 oz--more than a pound in a month!

Plans are in the works to make our first family vacation of 2009. We will hopefully be heading to Moab, UT in May to hang out with the Carr crew. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! Jessica and I are excitedly searching for campsites or cabins that can hold all of us!

Have an awesome week friends.

Blogger doesn't believe in 'spacing' today, and it is driving the former English teacher in me crazy!

Umm, happy new year?

Dude, what happened to 2008? I'm living in a serious time warp these days and show no signs of escaping. If anyone is still out there bothering to read this, Hi. I've missed you.

I'm not even sure where to begin, so let's just jump in, shall we? Our dear Athena Marie has made a fabulous recovery, perhaps even spunkier than before. It is unknown still if she has a raging cancer that her diet, vitamins and meds are controlling for the moment, or if she was just poisoned. I'm hoping for the poison. Whatever the case, she's happy and hungry and slightly neurotic. We love it.

Our dear Harley, however, seems to have come down with heartworms in spite of our monthly Heartguard treatments. We either forgot it at some point or she puked it up after pigging out on grass and deer carcass. Either scenario is highly likely. We’re trying to decide between the fast kill method (2 months of restriction, large amounts of drugs, and potential cardiac arrest) or the slow kill method (2-4 years of continued REGULAR heartguard, potential cardiac arrest, uncontrolled expulsion of the little buggers). At this point, I think we’re leaning towards the slow kill approach, as she is asymptomatic beyond a heart murmer.

Gracen is doing well, considering she's 2 1/2, has a sister who follows her everywhere, and has been the center of the universe for the last month with holiday festivities. It is not always pretty around here, but we're working on it. We're having to come to terms with discipline and routine, and deciding what works best for our family. There are no perfect answers, and we are learning to accept that we'll just screw up periodically until we get into our groove.

Gracie continues to amaze us with the love she shows for her little sister. She's not always the most gentle of creatures, but her heart is usually in the right place. I was putting clothes away in her room the other day, and apparently Avery took it upon herself to leave the room and crawl down the hall while I wasn't looking, so I called out for her to return (as if she knows what I'm saying and will oblige my requests). I hear Gracen saying, "No, no AvieW(r)oo. H(l)et's go this way." And then Gracen emerges at the door, HOLDING AVERY under the arms, drops her to the floor (head crashing, mind you), and say's "Here you go, Mommy." And Aves starts laughing.
Avery is a wild one. She looks like her head might break if she smiles any wider. She is still more selfish with her laughter than Gracen, but will still chuckle over her sis and pups on most days. The giggles are certainly worth waiting for. She's crawling everywhere, very quickly, and I'm having a hard time keeping up. I had finally gotten into a good groove with napping, cleaning, playing, and it all fell apart with this new mobility. She's also pulling up on everything and everyone, so we're having to be extra vigilant with her constant desire to climb Gracen and Harley. She also has a new love of Harley's eyeballs, so that's another one to work through. At her last doctor visit, she was 15 lbs. 12 oz (down to 50% from well over 100% at birth) ) and 27 1/2 inches (>97%). She's long and skinny, and so damn cute. We're eating solids, but she's still not real excited about it. The doctor wants us to be doing 2 solid feedings a day since she's steadily dropping in her weight percentages, but Ave is more of an occasional taster than an eater. She's still loving the mommyjuice, so that's good. She has days that she's not interested in nursing at all, so she makes up for it with eating all night. But then she has other days that she eats every few hours during the day and can make it 10+ hours a night. I find that I'm not as concerned about this as I was with Gracen and am fine with an "on demand" schedule.

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Okay, I started this post four days ago and it's still sitting here unpublished. Let us just post away and try to regain our rhythm next week, shall we?


I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and you're getting your new year started off strong. My hopes for the new year are to eat better, chew my food more slowly, exercise my body and mind more rigorously, listen more attentively to others, love my children as powerfully as possible, go on dates with my beautiful husband, and to make some time for myself.

Dear Playgroupers--Thank you for coming over today. You make me normal. Love, Me

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So, Blogger is vehemently pissed off at me and won't let me add pictures right now, perhaps due to my neglect. If you'd like to check out some Avery Ana cuteness too, head over to our Picasa site.

Merry Flippin' Christmas...

Dear Santa,

You're a little bit scary. We hope you come and visit us anyway, even though we were lacking our usual charm and good manners. We'll leave you cookies and hot chocolate.

Love,

Gracen and Avery

sheeeesh!!!

What a friggin' month. This will be a post with no pictures because I don't have the time or energy to get the camera out. As I am using this blog in lieu of a baby book, I need to keep up with our milestones and other happenings. So, some randomness from the last month:

1. Avery started rocking back and forth on her hands and knees a few weeks ago and has officially started pulling herself across the floor. Sometimes, it's an official "crawl" for a few steps, but it quickly turns to the slither. She's also sitting up for extended periods of time. Her favorite position is "down dog", and I fully expect her to be a proficient yoga practitioner by the age of two. We also started solid foods once a day beginning about a week ago. I'm not okay with any of this. I'm not sure where my little baby has gone.

2. Gracen is a nut. She doesn't stop talking EVER.

3. Adam and I ran the half marathon in Kiawah last Saturday, along with my sister Annie Belle and cousin Sabrina. I was VERY slow, and I'm still in pain. We're planning on doing another race this spring, though not certain which one. I'm going to be working on speed until then. My lungs actually felt great during the race, but my legs felt like I was carrying an extra ton by mile nine.

4. We spent last week in Kiawah with my side of the family for our holiday gathering. I'm not sure whose idea it was to have a vacation that included running a half marathon, but it sort of takes the relaxation factor out of the whole break thing. We had a blast though. Avery thinks her Uncle Ronny Mac is the funniest person ever.

5. Our Athena Marie is not doing so well. She has been slowing down over the past month or so, and while we were out of town, she took a turn for the worse. We had a home vet come out last night, and it looks like she's getting close to the end. We could spend an exorbitant amount of money finding out exactly what is wrong with her, but there would be no real treatment for any of the worst case scenarios. We'll treat the other possibilities with antibiotics and steroids. The vet is assuming it is a cancer that is causing her to be severely anemic and jaundiced. We're loading her up on protein and iron right now and hoping she stays comfortable and content. She has no energy and just looks sad. This is my first baby, and my heart is breaking a bit. I would write more on this, but it makes me cry.

6. Aves goes for her 6 month well baby check in a few hours. I'll report back with very cute pictures and our growth gains.

Love you all. And we miss you!

hold on a dang minute.

I'll be back when the screaming has stopped, the fevers are down, the snot floweth less and the coughing subsides. Until then, and because my mother is sick of hearing how proud I am of America, I finally uploaded October and November pics to Picasa. Love you all!!

Dear America,

Thank you for restoring my faith in you. You are a great nation, and I am truly honored today to be a piece of this. Our babies will thank us one day for taking this step to heal ourselves and to restore our honor around the world. I know this is only the beginning, and I am ready to serve and sacrifice.

Love,
Me

yes we can.

VOTE.

Get off your bootie. Get out the door. Go stand in line. Don't be afraid to wait for a long time. What else do you really need to do today? This is your right. Don't be apathetic. Have an opinion. This is monumental. Make a statement. Get out and VOTE!!

Some random pics...

Hello, chickie.

Curious George. She wore this for 3 days.
Delta, Great-Grandma Dot and Avery

Liv and Roo.

Gracen's first horse ride. She thinks daddy needs to go to the grocery store and buy her one.

The girls

Grandma Dot and her baby.

Ghi-ghi and Briahna watching people jump off a bridge.

"i wanna mow the grass."

Being a toddler is hard. Very hard. Very, very, very hard. Throw a toy lawnmower into the mix and all hell breaks loose. Seriously.

I could expand upon the previous paragraph, but it makes me tired to even think about it. Please enjoy the smiles you see here (preschool yesterday). This is NOT always the case.

I'm going to blame my poor blogging on Adam going to bed at 9:30 and me not having access to the 'puter. Both the girls are down for naps at the moment, so I have a free moment, but the urge to go crash out along with them is too overwhelming. I will cave. And I will enjoy it.

Sleep and I are still not getting along very well, especially at night. It makes my brain hurt and keeps my words trapped in my head.


Above are Charlie Ann, Walker, and Gracen on their big hayride last week. We had a preschool field trip to Ganyard Hill farms, where they got to play with little animals, climb a hay mountain, go through corn and hay mazes and pick their own pumpkin. The daddyman took off of work to go play with us. I'm so happy fall is here!

We just got back from playfightgroup. The three aforepictured sweetnesses are learning social skills these days (very slowly I might add). Again, it's very hard to be a toddler.

Above is the Roo passed out on the Papa at Walker's 3rd birthday celebration. See, she IS still little!!

shat.

I forgot to knock on wood after my last post. Figures.
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When Amy brought Gracen back from preschool this afternoon, I was most impressed to see that the Boo was still wearing the same pair of pants. This would mean, of course, that we had no potty-related accidents.
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Prenap talk:

M: I'm so proud of you for going pee and poop in the potty at school!!

G: I no poop in the potty.

M: Oh, you didn't poop today at school?

G: (giggling) I poop in the grass.
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Another conversation right down the road from our house:

Amy: Walker, you stepped in dog poo.

Walker: That's not dog poop, that's Gracen's!
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Are you kidding me with this, kids?!?!
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I sent an email to the teacher, apologizing profusely and offering to go hunt down the pile. She called this evening, trying to contain her laughter. She had been most perplexed trying to figure out how a dog made it on to the playground. Walker wasn't the only casualty. Great. I'm not quite as amused as the rest of the world!!
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The photograph above is taken from their classroom blog, which is updated daily so the parents get a peek into what happened during the day. I haven't checked today's for fear of something like, "Walker and Archie play with lawnmowers while Gracen takes a dump under the old apple tree." She's going to hate me for this post in about 15 years, but seriously kid. YOU SHAT ON THE PLAYGROUND AFTER I VERY SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO!!! Have I mentioned that I hate pottytraining?!

Avery is officially laughing her head off and can blow raspberries. She's a genius. I know.

Wyatt.

Welcome out, Wyatt. We're so happy you're here! And thank you for giving your Mama an easy time on your grand entrance. We love you all!!! I'm thinking we may not be able to wait until spring for a Colorado visit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have obviously returned to my former blogslacker ways. Sorry for the pause. I could write a grand list of valid excuses, but they can best be summed up as: Gracen and Avery. I think we've finally hit our groove in this family of four business. We may have our moments of chaos, but they're generally shortlived, and we're able to wade through it relatively unscathed. Miss Avery is officially sleeping in her crib these days (okay, we're only on day five and she's sneaked into my bed already tonight, but she had shots today, and I'm feeling sorry for her). I nurse her to sleep, put her in there, and then put her in bed with me when I go to sleep (and yes, I still sleep in her room). I'm a sucker for co-sleeping and the family bed. I believe in it and the security and attachment it fosters. I also believe my sleep is important, and if I actually took the time to get out of bed and nurse her twice a night, I'd lose at least an hour. And considering I don't go to bed until 1-ish and I wake at 7-ish, that hour means a lot. Let me be the first to say that I realize it's incredibly stupid to go to bed that late, especially since Aves goes down at 7:30 and the G at 8:00. Oh, and Adam at 10:00. But frequently I don't get my runs in until after 9:00, so I'm wired on whatever it is that wires one who runs too damn late at night. And also, it's the only time of the day that belongs to me, and only me. I need that time. Often it's spent washing dishes or clothes or scraping an unidentifiable substance from the couch, but it's still my time where nobody needs anything from me. I kinda dig it.

Avery went for her 4 month check today. She was 14 lbs 9.5 oz (75%) and 26 1/2 inches (>97%). She and Gracen are actually pretty close to the same size at this age, which is crazy considering their starting weights (A:9-13 vs. G:7-7). She's rolling all over the place, officially laughing, and just being hopelessly adorable. The girls are constantly interacting now, which is awesome to watch. I think Gracen is beginning to get annoyed with the hair pulling and nose pinching, but she's remaining kind and calm in the face of mild torture. I'm sure she'll be this way when she's 13 as well... Gracen is loving her school more and more. She comes home singing songs we don't know, playing games we had forgotten about, saying hundreds of new words and talking in full conversation. Her teacher Beth has recently become our babysitter as well, which is beyond awesome. After spending time with the G at home and realizing that she really is potty trained at the house, Beth wanted us to start sending her to school sans diaper!! So far so good, though she did drop the pantalones on the playground for a quick pee. What can you say? At least she didn't poop. At this point we're only wearing diapers to sleep, which is very exciting!

Yesterday's chat on the front porch after nap time:

Gracen: Mommy, what's that? (pointing at the ground)

Mama: That's a wood roach.

G: What that mean? Is it a bug?

M: Yes, it's a bug and it likes to irritate your mother along with all his little friends.

G: What it doing?

M: (kicking it) Humm, it looks like it's dead.

G: What dead mean, Mommy?

M: (slightly freaking out and wishing Adam were home) Dead is like it goes to sleep for a long time.

G: Oh, Dacie go to sleep for a h(l)ong time too!

M: Well, this is a different kind of sleep because it doesn't wake back up.

G: Oh, it take a weeew(real) hong nap. It go nite-nite in daytime and Dacie go nite-nite at 8 o'clock. (Diego just discussed nocturnal on his show)

M: Okay. (not sure of where to go from here)

G: (poking it) Why it not wake up. Open da eyes bug. Open da eyes.

M: It can't wake up because it dead. It's little body is there, but what makes him move around is gone now.

G: Huh? What mean, Mommy?

M: Umm, I think it's gone to little bug Heaven to play with other little wood roaches?

G: No, dat's silly. It wake up in a h(l)ittle bit. I give it some water. (and she pours the dogs' water on the poor dead creature)

And then I kicked it off the porch to avoid further questioning. How do you explain death to a 2 year old?! Seriously, I need some advice. I'm pretty sure "little bug heaven" doesn't quite cut it.

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One of our dear friends, Scott Nurkin, is an artist. He and Adam became friends on their first day of kindergarten when their older brothers forced them to fight each other at the bus stop. They've been friends ever since. If you live in the triangle, you're sure to have seen his work, even if you didn't realize it. From restaurants, to building walls, to malls, his murals are everywhere. The man is a genius, and we love him. Recently, I commissioned a portrait of my late father, Ronny McDaniel. All I can say is: Amazing. Simply, amazing. Daddy is hanging by the back(front)door between the kitchen and dining room. While it doesn't actually seem like the best spot to hang a fine piece of art, I find that it's perfect. I see him every time I leave the house and every time I cook, do the laundry, take a dish to the kitchen. It's as if he's returned to my life somehow. And now Gracen, and soon Avery, knows her Grandpa. When we walk out the door, she'll blow him a kiss and say, "Bye Grandpa." It's an awesome thing. Both of my grandfathers passed away before I was born, both of massive heart attacks like my father, and they were always so distant and unreal to me. Thankfully, we now have a daily reminder of this man I love and miss so very much. Thank you, Scott, for giving me my Papa again.

Chopped.

I've recently begun a Facebook addiction, which I'm working to break free of. Something has come to my attention in my Facebooking that required immediate attention. Certain people have started busting out the old photos and "tagging" me, and I've been hit with a realization: I have had the exact same hair since my 13th birthday. (I'll be 31 in a couple of weeks.) And in those nearly two decades, I would guess that my hair has been pulled back in a ponytail or bun at least 97% of the time.


So I went to see Jonanthan on Saturday and let him do whatever he pleased. People, I can't even pull in back in a mini-pony if I needed. I actually have to wake up and DO something to it. I haven't cried yet, which is good, but I'm starting to freak out a little bit over the morning bedhead. I mean I've always had bedhead, but it could be remedied in 6 seconds with a flip bun. We'll see how this goes. I guess I had to get a grownup cut eventually. I think maybe the world is considering me an adult now. Jonathan referred to it as "punky." Yes, I'm a punky, grownup, mother of two.

Update on running: I think I don't hate it anymore, which is shocking. I'm starting week five of training, and it is getting easier, though my workouts are getting harder. I am very, very, very slow. I'm not sure that my coach appreciates quite how slow I am, but I suppose it's okay. My goal is to finish the race, not to finish it quickly. I ran for an hour last night and didn't die. Wooo-hoooo!!!

The girls are doing great. Ave is learning more and more everyday and is much more interactive. She just found her feet and is rolling over in both directions. I'm still trying to hamper her development if at all possible--she's just growing too quickly!! Her favorite trick is to pet Gracen's face or pull her hair. Gracie loves to share with her, most of the time. I woke up to Gracen crawling on the bed this morning. She placed Froggy atop Avery's head (which is how Gracen goes to sleep), and says, "Dis is for Avie." And then she left, leaving Froggy behind.

A and Z

hi.

you're cute.

you, too.

love you forever.

letting go...just a little bit.

Dear Gracen,

When I drove off Friday, I saw bubbles floating out of the fence behind Our Playhouse. I knew that you were below them, trying to catch them and possibly eat them. You shed no tears like you did on Wednesday, for which I was grateful. I, on the other hand, did manage a drop or two when I got to the car.

This was a vast improvement over Wednesday's "incident." I had been trying to ease you into the environment by staying and playing for a while. We had the discussion on the car ride of "Mama's leaving to go vacuum the house (you detest vacuuming) while you stay and play with toys and make sand castles and pick apples from the tree." Every couple of minutes, however, you would look up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes, your lips would quiver and you would whisper "No, Mama stay." I could feel the lump forming in my throat. I looked at your teacher and asked, "Is it like pulling off a band aid?" She nodded and mouthed, "Just go ahead." You could sense what was happening and you strapped yourself to me while I was sitting on the miniature chair at the tiny table and began screaming. It was a scream I had never heard from you, full of desperation and utter fear. At this point, the director saw that things were going to get ugly so she came and literally peeled you off of me, one appendage at a time. I kissed your head, told you I loved you, began crying myself and ran like hell. I bulldozed my way through groups of parents chatting, whose kids were gleefully playing alone. All I could get out in the form of an apology was, "That's my baby crying." They smiled and let me pass as I managed to bang Avery's car seat on every available wall and the fence outside. I got in the car and had a full breakdown. It was one of those revival salvation cries that comes from deep in the belly and soul, and you have no real control over your arms or voice. After five minutes or so, I got it together, talked myself out of going and peeping in the window, and drove off. I called your Daddy, trying to feign I had more emotional control than I did. I'm not sure I was very convincing. I then called Amy, who had left a few minutes ahead of me, not in tears. She didn't answer and I didn't bother calling anyone else because I was going into panic mode again as I drove down the highway. I made it to Carrboro, not sure of where to go. Avery and I ended up in the parking lot of the Red Hen for a blowout diaper change, a nursing session, and a phone call from Amy. She managed to get some semblance of control out of me and assured me that all of this was in your best developmental interest and that I'm still a good mother. It took a while. (Thank you, Amy) Aves and I headed over to Weaver Street Market to kill some time while I waited to hear from school. Your Daddy called to let me know school had called the house, but he missed it (he was still working from home due to his unexpected and slightly hilarious Pox situation). I called them back and talked with Sadie, the director. She said she almost cried for me as I was leaving--not a pretty picture, I'm guessing. Apparently, you cried for about three minutes, and then you were perfectly fine and playing. You were having a grand ole time, while I nearly wrecked your sister and myself due to blinding tears.

When I came back to get you after lunch, you didn't see me at first. You were running around laughing and playing. When you finally saw me, you stopped in your tracks, opened your arms as wide as you could and yelled, "Oh, Mama! I miss you!" And then you looked at your teacher grinning and said, "Mama came back." I stopped myself from crying again.

On Friday, I left you in the sandbox, picking up shiny things which you were carefully putting into an empty bubble bottle. When I came to pick you up, you were putting apples in a basket. I have absolutely no idea what happened in between, which is very odd. Your Daddy and I have known all the minutia of your life for over two years, and now there's a blank space. And in that space is this whole new independent you that we only hear about. And often, we have no clue what you're saying. It's going to take some adjusting and acceptance from me. You're still my little baby, and I'm having a hard time letting you grow up.

I love you, and I miss you too.

Always, always.

Mama