So sad...

Dear Mattie,

I'm sorry I had to say goodbye today. You have been a true joy in my life. All 36,211 miles you have driven me have been nothing short of spectacular, and I thank you for always getting me to my destination safely and in such style. I believe you will love your new owner, as she has been admiring and loving you for months now. You will now be named Donna, however. Donna Matrix. Yes, you will get along splendidly.

Please forgive me for parting ways. I will see you again (every other week when I go to the specialty shop for dog food). Your new driver has even told me I can take you for some spins around the parking lot. My sweet first new car, I will miss your fuel efficiency, your smoothness, your quick reaction time, your pep, all of you. Thank you for taking care of my family and me these past years.

Keep on keepin' on...

Shanna

Insomnia

Isn't she precious?

Adam and our friend Scott moved some furniture for me yesterday so that I could get the rest of Gracen's Big Girl Room underway. So now she has her bed, her dresser from her old room, and a large shelf made by my father to store her toys. All we need is some artwork, and we'll be finished. The nesting urge is kicking in much harder than it ever did with Gracen. I have a ridiculous number of projects for me (or Adam) to complete, and nothing can get done quickly enough.

Since Gracen has been playing in her new room for weeks and she and I have been sharing her new bed on sleepless nights, we thought last night might be a good day to try out falling asleep in bed. Only after Adam lying down with her for a good 15 minutes followed by me lying down with her for another 30 minutes, she finally fell asleep. I was so proud, yet wanted to cry at her being old enough to be in a bed all by herself. It was short lived. She woke up at 1:00 AM, due to a leaky diaper, and stayed awake until at least 4:30, talking happily at times, crying inconsolably at others. We moved from crib to bed countless times, rocked, but she was determined to start her day. She woke again at 6:45.

I suppose I spoke too soon last week when I mentioned that we had overcome our sleep regression. I believe that was actually the last night we slept through. I think we're going to go back to the crib, and may have to take a harsher cry-out method. I'm not as comfortable with the cry-it-out approach as I was when she was younger, learning to fall asleep for the night. There's something a little sadder, sweeter, and needier about night waking that hurts my heart more harshly. I'm torn between the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and attachment parenting philosophies. Every mothering bone in my body screams for me to go to her in the night, which I'm certain just perpetuates this cycle of night waking and waiting for Mama to come and snuggle back to sleep. It really wouldn't be such an issue if our snuggle period was 10 minutes. And really, I'd settle for an hour at this point. The other big issue I'm having is that I seem to be completely incapable of falling back to sleep in any reasonable sort of time frame. Again, this wouldn't be that huge of a deal itself, if I was able to fall asleep gracefully at the beginning of the evening and could get the majority of my hours in then. As it stands, I'm sleeping around 4 hours a night, and those hours are interrupted by either Gracen talking/crying or Avery dancing on my bladder. I'm pathetically worthless right now.

It's 10:21, and I'm ready to put Gracen down for her nap. She's cranky and ready too. However, we have a rotten window that is presently being fixed, and there are loud noises outside. Also, this will take away from my opportunity for a nap as I need to be accessible for questions and payment. I'm bitter. And very, very sleepy.

I'm sorry for complaining. Minus the sleep deprivation, life really is wonderful.

Time Warp...

Thank you Tara for Gracie's new hat!! She loves it, perhaps a little too much. She can only eat whilst wearing her "At."

I feel like I posted a few days ago, but just realized it's been almost 2 weeks. I'm not sure what's going on in the space-time continuum these days, but my world seems to be a little off. Must be a wrinkle. I missed you.

Yeah. You see all those names there?! I don't mean to brag, but WOW, folks. Seriously, one of the best shows I've ever seen. It was all four of them, Emmylou Harris, Patty Griffin, Shawn Colvin and Buddy Miller, on stage the entire time, together. It was very laid back and casual. We felt like we were in their living room listening to good conversation in the midst of a jam session. I'm sorry all of you couldn't have been there with us. Thank you, dear husband, for giving Amy and I night out on the town. It made the baby girls very happy in there!



I think little girl Riggsbee may be partially named. Avery-no-middle-name-yet-Riggsbee. She's a very sweet girl, and is doing a fine job of making her Mama be aware of her presence. This is good, as meaniehead Daddy won't let me rent another fetal doppler to ease my irrational fears of the child disappearing. Nor will my midwife. It seems to increase my neurotic tendencies, so I'm told. I'm feeling great, though the belly is beginning to get in the way. I really shouldn't complain yet, as I'm well aware of how in the way it will eventually become. I wish I could just time warp from about mid-March to about Mid-May. For those of you spending any time with me from March to May in 2006, you might sympathize with this wish for me.

The G-Unit is perfect, happy, eating like a PIG (must be a growth spurt?) and sleeping again!!! I just discovered today a phrase called "18-month Sleep Regression." Yep. That's what we had. I'm really hoping it has gone away, though during this time of midnight playdates, I have discovered that Gracie's new big girl bed (that she only sleeps in with me), is the absolute most comfortable bed I've ever slept in in my life. I may be switching rooms again. By the end of next month, I'm hoping to have Gracen transitioned into her new bed. Right now, she just doesn't seem to be able to control herself from crawling out and playing with her toys in the darkness. Sadly, Adam took his headband off before I could get a picture of them reading together. Gracen likes to dress him up.

So Mr. Smartypants Daddy was just published in Science. For those nonscientisting people out there, if you were to discover the cure for cancer, your results would probably be published in Science. Click HERE for an article about their article. I'm trying to figure out how to attach a PDF of the document, if it's even possible. Fine work Adam, Doyle, et al. Way to be brilliant!!

Half Baked.

Baby ______ is half way through this whole pregnancy already. It seems to be speeding along, much unlike her sister's pregnancy, which was painfully slow. She's over half a pound, has a wonderfully strong heartbeat, and is quite the wiggle worm. Please keep the names coming!! Quite a few are on the official "maybe" list. My goal was to have her named by the end of the weekend, but I'm thinking it may be more like the end of the month. Perhaps we'll have a blog vote...

(Above: Gracen putting a bowl of oatmeal on her head, saying "Hat, Mama, Hat!" It's okay to be in awe of her brilliance.)

We've spent the past month or so in heavy discussions over whether or not to deliver at the Women's Birth and Wellness Center again or to use the midwives at UNC Hospital. We decided that with our last delivery being so fast, messy and scary (full birth story in upcoming post), we owed it to ourselves and the little one to at least examine all of our options. We went to "Meet the Midwives" at the hospital last week. I went in with what I had hoped would be an open mind, but the fluorescent lighting immediately closed it. The facilities were fine, nice even for a hospital. The people were friendly, competent, and accommodating. But the entire time, I was a big breath away from breaking into tears. It just didn't feel like us. It didn't feel like it could bring us the experience I want for our birth to be. I know the risks involved in choosing an out of hospital birth. Well aware. But I believe in my body's ability to bring this girl into the world in an unmedicated and largely non-medical manner. Because of Gracie's birth experience, we will be putting extra safeguards in place. So dear family, fear not. It will be safe. We had a long discussion yesterday with the midwife who delivered Gracen, and she feels like we're still low-risk patients, and she is completely comfortable having us back again. We will expect the next delivery to be even faster than Gracen, so I'm just hoping to make it to the center in time. There will be no laboring at home.

(Please pardon the blurry spots in above photos. Gracen licked the camera lens again.)

Gracen and I have had a very dramatic/interesting day. It started off with a busted lip on a cedar chest, moved on to several diaper removals (by her, NOT me) with the last one being "fun-filled," and then to a full body marker painting of herself. All seem to speak to maternal negligence, apparently. I hope to do better tomorrow.

I met baby Zachary the other evening. He's a perfect little man, and I love him. He's nursing well and loving his mama and daddy (and his auntie, of course). Because of some jaundice, they are keeping him in an extra day, but will hopefully be home tomorrow!! Love you guys!! (Matt's Picasa site is linked from ours if you want to see some pics.)

Way to Rock It, Laura!!!

Welcome to the world, Zachary Sagan Blanchard!!! Nice job, Matt and Laura! Yesterday morning, after 10 hours of all natural labor (including 3 hours of pushing), little man finally joined us via the big "C." We're so glad that everyone is happy and healthy. I'm dying to get there to see him!! I will try to get there this afternoon, so more pics to follow. We love all three of you!!!!

Bangs.

Try to control yourselves, friends. This is indeed TWO posts in ONE week. I think I'm back!!

Adam and I didn't get one another Christmas presents this year. Nor will we being doing so for the next five years or so. Instead, we invested in a water softener/neutralizer/filtration/reverse osmosis system. I would go on about the disgusting nature of what we were dealing with, but suffice it to say that Gracen and I had grown tired of mud/iron/bacteria baths. And I was tired of needing to clean the toilets 3-5 times a week. It's a whole new world here with good water. We can drink from the tap, so no more hauling of 10 gallons of water from the grocer. The green stains in the sinks, tubs, showers and toilets from our deteriorating copper pipes have stopped returning. Another benefit, which I had not really considered was the difference in our hair. My curls are returning, as are the frizzies, so I'm having to use product again to maintain control. Gracen's hair is remarkably softer and has lightened a few shades. Perhaps the iron deposits are working themselves out. Adam's hair is, well, unchanged.

Gracen's soft hair and refusal to stay pinned back (and my sleep deprivation and crankiness) led me to an unplanned attack of baby locks the other morning. I had literally repinned her hair 10 times before breakfast, so as she was sitting there eating, I sneaked by with a pair of scissors and snipped. After a little panic attack, I tried to straighten as best I could and am working towards acceptance. I have childhood bang issues. My mother cut mine when I was Gracie's age. They spread from ear to ear and worked themselves all the way to the back of my head. One might almost call it a mullet. I prefer to look at it as a bi-level. Business in the front, party in the rear. My sister, on the other hand, was bangless, with long, thick, lovely curls. I had some serious hair envy for many years, and I have been determined to keep Gracen's hair in a style that she can look back on in thirty years and appreciate the beauty. I might have to hide her 3-7 month photos.

Anyway, this is the result (with a pouty face for Aunt Belle).

Adam wanted me to make sure to post this picture of his Prius with two boats. His excitement was barely containable. It really just seems sort of wrong in nature (a Prius with roof racks), as it brings the MPG down from 50-something to 30-something. A real tragedy, if you ask me. The family went for a New Year's boating trip down Robeson Creek to Jordan Lake. It was not warm. At. All. But it was fun. And much thanks to KatieKate and her wonderful wool clothing line for keeping our child warm and dry on the water.

Here are some shots of the newly updated office, which now doubles as Adam and Shanna's sleeping quarters. The transition is going well, though I sleep much less. I'm not sure if it's because I hear Gracen laughing at 3 AM or because her sister likes to have wiggle parties about that time. Whatever the case, I have resumed my napping. My hope is to fight through the urge today and try to go to sleep at 8:00.

We're off to get out of our jammers, brush our teeth and head over to the neighbor's. We have some serious name analysis to get through today. Please, keep the ideas flowing!!