ghigh

As usual, I've waited too long between posts, and I have too much to say that I'll never get around to writing here. Our Christmas break came and went at an alarming speed. We stayed in town, and family came from all over the country to visit--Mama, Annie, Ronny Mac, Sabrina and Bryan. Adam's parents would have been here as well, but the snow trapped them on their mountain. We're hoping they make use of those tickets soon!!

I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend the holiday. Family makes me feel centered and grounded and normal, and I hate that we all live so far apart that we don't get that connection often enough.

Tomorrow morning, Mama leaves after spending the past two weeks with us. I'm thinking it's good that she's leaving before the girls wake up because it would not go over well. She dared to leave to go to a movie last night, and Gracen fell to the ground screaming for her for a good long while. Dropping Annie at the airport was also an ugly event. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to function without Mama here. I have become dependent and spoiled and simply prefer to have her around. Making it even harder is not knowing when we'll be seeing her again. I'm going to quit writing about it because it just makes me sad.

It's probably time for another list, eh? That whole New Year thing is probably a good opportunity for that:

1. Sleep 8 hours a night. I started to going to acupuncture last week for sleep/fatigue/weight issues. I'm also taking Chinese herbs 3 times a day and doing ear acupuncture treatments eight times a day. So far I'm falling asleep easier without the use of drugs, and I've lost 2 lbs. I also gained 6 over the holiday =)

That's it. I really think all else will fall into place once this little issue has been resolved. Let's keep it simple.

Photo above: Ghighi and Gracen from the back deck at our house at sunset.

the ones that you won't see on the holiday card

Christmas, Solstice, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, New Year, Holiday cards are going out this week. Hopefully, I have your address because it would be a damn shame to miss out on this cuteness.

I'll try to write more tomorrow. Mama needs to go night night.

Reunited

Therapize Thyself

(Gracen and I gave each other pedicures.)

Lately I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my life. I have a tendency to think in terms of "big picture," rather than day-to-day. As much as I want to, and do, scream CARPE DIEM from the rooftops, I more often seize onto daily ruts and then get in the routine of ruts. This is not to say that I'm in a funk and not enjoying my life; on the contrary, I get too wrapped up in other things, namely my children, that I blow off tasks that would lead me towards my long term goals. And due to some unfortunate sleeping issues, I'm just too tired to have the initiative to get everything done that needs to be done. If I had some Ambien to get me to sleep at a respectable hour and some Ritalin to organize my profoundly unfocused mind, I might be able to get it together. But, I want to do this the natural way at this point, even though the pharmacological route sounds a heck of a lot easier and probably more fun.

So in good counselor fashion, I made a list of the things I want to accomplish (for me) on a daily basis (some of which will lead me towards my desired bigger picture and some that will just keep the mountain of Harley hair off the kitchen floor) and started processing how I could make those things happen. Here's a sampling from the list:

1. Take a daily shower and wear my hair down at least 4X a week. Some of you may get how hard that can be these days. I may even slap on some chapstick and mascara.

2. Walk Gracen to school--guaranteed 4.5 miles of exercise 3X a week.

3. Daily yoga. I'm a much happier and healthier person when I practice regularly. I still want to go through yoga teacher training in the next couple of years, so it would probably be a good idea for me to be able to touch my toes again soon. I'll give myself a few months before trying to stick them over my head again.

4. Write daily. I always talk about wanting to write, maybe start freelancing, but something always takes precedence--probably napping or laundry or screaming little people.

5. Keep an organized and clean house. We all function better in tidiness.

6. Read more books.

7. Go to bed before 11PM--or even 12 at this point.

Ultimately, a very detailed schedule was born, and I'm on Day 2 of following it. So far, the G has been walked to school, I'm sore from yoga, my house is in relative order, and here I am blogging. I'll keep you posted on how it's going. For now, it just feels good to be doing something for me.

Babies in a Bucket

Gracen is officially a preschool dropout. No worries because she started a new one immediately. The church preschool in our neighborhood had an opening, and we were able to get her in last week. It has been an amazing transformation for the little princess. We knew she wasn't happy at the old school, but for a long time assumed it was just the transition of moving away from home. I'm sure that factored in to it, but she just wasn't improving. She would beg not to go in the mornings, cling to me at drop-off, and still had no idea what her teachers' names were. After repeatedly catching them calling her the wrong name and after a very traumatic Halloween parade, we were done. I'm sure the old school is great for some kids, but Gracen just needs a smaller environment with the same teachers all day.

This new school is great. She gets to eat lunch there and use her old lunchbox from Beff's school. She still really, really, really misses Beth, preschool teacher and babysitter extraordinaire. But she's already showing signs of loving these teachers too, and she's just so happy all the time now. She's excited to go and talks school all the time when she's not there. And we get to walk there!

The only real problem we have now is that Avery is getting sad about leaving Gracen at school. They are hopelessly attached to each other these days.

Getting ready to take off for school!!

Avery trying to entertain herself while sis is off being educated.

The Grouchy Ladybug and the Cowardly Lion

I have been informed that my blog is depressing.  I might be married to the informant.  I'll pep it up.

So Austin and Halloween.  I'm not even sure what to say about it other than these people are insane.  I had no idea Halloween could be every bit as festive as Christmas.  We live on a particularly lively street, apparently.  Families toted their small ones in wagons, which doubled as a traveling cooler of parental libations.  The houses were decked out with orange lights, skeleton flamingos, graveyards, giant spiders in giant webs, life-size talking ghosts, window "scenes," complete haunted houses.  The street was swarmed, much like Bourbon or Franklin streets on Halloween.  These people know how to party.

Uncle Paul came and passed out fancy chocolates and fruit, his favorite tradition in this home and the only thing he was reluctant to give up when he handed the house over to us.  It gave us a chance to go as a full family unit to roar at neighbors and beg for candy.  Matt and Tess joined us and were likewise blown away by the flamboyance of the occasion.  People flocked from other neighborhoods, and were still showing up past 10PM.  I wish I had taken more pictures, but was too in shock to think about photographic posterity.

We spent last week back in North Carolina.  It was too grand of a trip to try and cram into this post, but I'll report more later after I steal everyone else's photos.  We forgot the camera, of course.

I'll leave you with another little dancing video from the other day, as the girls were boogying to their Uncle Ronny Mac in the background.

Dos Mesas

Dear Girls,

We have been here for two whole months.  We are doing all we can to fill our days to help us forget how much we miss home.  Most days we're pretty successful.  Others, like today, kick our ass and remind us that we're very far away from the security and comfort of our former life.

And it was an uneventful day, really.  We went to a playgroup.  The neighborhood kids came over to play.  We took a walk.  We played with playdough that you made yourselves.   We Skyped with Ghi-ghi.  Even in the fullness, we just seemed out of sorts and sad today.  Gracen, you cried for every possible reason the universe and your blooming vocabulary could verbalize.  Avery, you cried because Gracen cried and because you keep running into things or falling off of things.  And I cried because you two cried, and I often feel lost in knowing how to fix you or to comfort you.  There was a lot of laughter and play today too.  I think I would define this as a "good" day, technically, in spite of the tears, but it was one that just gave a little tap on the shoulder to say, "Yeah, you left a good life, and you're right to miss it."  Hopefully it misses us back a little.  We left playgroup today in a fit of tears.  Gracen, when you were able to get words out in between sobs, all you could say was that you wanted to go to Walker's house.  Me too, kid.

We love Austin.  I couldn't let myself use that word for a little while.  I like it.  It's fine.  It'll do for a while.  But frankly, and annoyingly, there's nothing not to love about this city.  Here's a list to help your Mama get some gratitude perspective after today:
~~Playgrounds are everywhere.  They're at restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls, and the endless supply of parks.
~~People bike everywhere--to work, to eat, to play.
~~Everyone seems to exercise outdoors, whether they're 19 or 91.  Many did this while it was still 106 outside daily, but the cooler weather has brought out the masses.  I can't even count the number of people passing our house during the day on their daily jog, walk or ride.
~~It is expected that you take your own bags to the grocery store.  They usually ask for those before asking 'paper or plastic'.
~~We have babysitters and dogsitters.
~~We've joined a Meetup.com playgroup that will be good as soon as we've spent more time together.  Newness is tough.
~~Adam and I are each going out for Boys' Night and Girls' Night weekly with people we really like.
~~The restaurant options are unbelievable, as are the movie theaters (Alamo Drafthouse, in particular).
~~Festivals, festivals, festivals, festivals.
~~You can go to a bar and play Chicken Shit Bingo with a real live chicken.
~~Everyone is really, really, really nice.
~~Most days, you girls are really happy.
~~Your daddy and I love each other more than ever.
~~Daddy works from home, so he can come up to check in whenever.  And he no longer commutes an hour and a half a day, so we can sit down as a family for at least two meals a day.
~~The house is awesome.

Last week, with our new playgroup, I took you to Kiddie Acres, an amusement park for children under 10.  It was old, rusty, creaky, small, with real live ponies.  If you ever actually make it to a Disney World or Carowinds or even Dollywood, you may just die.  Because you almost did over a dilapidated flying airplane with rusted chain seat belts.  I'm sorry that you two ever have to be anything other than blissful, like you were all that day.  I'll do the best I can, but will guarantee you that I won't be perfect.  But I will love you completely and will give you all I've got.

Love,
Mama

painting and peanut butter pops

 

Security

So, I'm a little freaked out by some of the sicko comments a friend has experienced on her blog lately. It is a family blog just like ours, one that seems like a safe place to share stories and pictures from our lives. I'm not going to expand, but let's just say that there are some disturbing people in the world.

I have now taken this blog off of the Blogger listings as well as Google searches and will not allow anonymous comments. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to make this site completely private and accessible by invite only, start a new blog altogether or just go in and rework the entire thing by eliminating specific information. I'll need to talk to the boy about it. But if it shows up as "invite only" in the next week and you haven't received an email from me giving you access, just let me know that you want to remain a reader, and I'll add you to the list (even if we don't "know" each other).

Poop?

I'm listening to Avery playing around in her crib while her big sister has already fallen asleep for the night. This is totally out of order. I'm pondering over whether it is because she has taken a huge dumpage in her pants or if it is the result of a nap taken too late in the day. If it's the former, I should go deal with it. If it's the latter, I should ignore. If it's the former, and I choose to ignore unknowingly, we'll be dealing with a very ugly diaper rash come morning that will haunt us for at least four days. And now silence. Perhaps I'll sneak in for a sniff. How is it that a normal part of my life is smelling someone's butt 10 times a day?

The Dootster.

Tomorrow I get on a plane all by myself for the first time in my life.  And I will be going to see the girls that I first ever got on an airplane with back in 1995.

Our little Hannah is getting married, so the ladies are congregating on Wrightsville Beach, and we will be celebrating the bachelorette.  I haven't started packing yet, but considering I am only having to organize for myself, I should be fine.

The babies will be with their Daddy for FOUR WHOLE DAYS.  And we live in Texas, so the boy is alone on this one.  He'll be fine.  It is just four days after all.  Maybe give him a call an check in, eh?  I'll be busy on the beach.

I could care less what the weather will be like this weekend.  I'm going to be with my ladies, and that's all I really need. 

The new roof is on the house, and we finally have some peace around here.  I'll take pictures soon.  Much love to all...

See you next week!!!

                                                                                                              

Okie-Dokie.

Happy Friday!

THIS SPOT RIGHT HERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A VIDEO THAT I'VE BEEN ATTEMPTING TO UPLOAD FOR 12 HOURS.  PRETEND THAT YOU SEE TWO VERY CUTE GIRLS DANCING TOGETHER.

The only thing we've accomplished today was $189 trip to the grocery store.  And I went without using my new GPS unit.  

A few words about navigational systems: There is absolutely no reason to live without one, especially if your husband drags the familial ass cross country to start up new housekeeping.  It is, frankly, because of this gadget that I've been out and about Austin with as much confidence as I've had.  If you know me, this won't come as a shock to you, but I don't typically enjoy doing things on my own.  I have a constant fear of getting lost or turning down a one way street or, God forbid, that it may start raining while I'm in the car or that an 18-wheeler might dare to pass me.  There's just something about having that woman's voice in the car with me, guiding me through a city I would otherwise be hopelessly lost in, that gives me that little boost to get out of our PJs by 10AM and out the front door.  

Yes, I recognize that this would be much more entertaining with the video.  I'm working on it.

Day One

  

Today was Gracen's first day of preschool.  We went as the full family unit; I think Adam feared for my emotional stability after seeing some stray tears every time the topic has come up over the last week.  He also remembers last year's first day of school, and, let's face it, I have a hard time letting go.

She woke up this morning and immediately began screaming that she was going to be late.  As soon as we walked into the gym, however, she lost the enthusiasm.  Her teacher finally peeled her away, much like Beth did last year.

This school will be fine.  It offers much that we're excited about, namely the daily swim lessons and gymnastics.  It is, though, lacking in the personal touches we found at Our Playhouse and Community Independent.  Something just felt a little more "factory."  Perhaps that connection will come with time or maybe it's there, and I just haven't witnessed it yet.  She came home happy and excited and wanted to tell me all about it.

But today really made me miss home.  I miss where she was and where she would have been.  I miss her friends who are having fun in her absence.  I miss my friends.  

because i love you...

I gave the girls Nutella for the first time in their lives yesterday.  I have officially secured my nomination for most awesomest mother in the universe.  Also, we think Avery has gained about 12 lbs since we've been in Texas.

This is Avery Ana pre hair cut.  I was not wanting to cut it.  Others in my life seemed to think it was imperative, comparing it to an old mullet we once loved and lost.

Avery played with markers.  Gracen helped to decorate her while I was packing up the Chapel Hill house.

New seating.

Just pure adorableness.

J. Adam Riggsbee at RiverBank ecosystems

Many of you have asked me what Adam does for a living.  And as many times as I've pleaded for him to give me a two sentence explanation of this, it's just not that easy.  So I'll direct you now to his new company website: www.riverbankecosystems.com, which sums it up much better than my rambling. 

Hot, hard day.

(first family photo EVER where we're all almost smiling)

It's been a rough day.  My Uncle Charlie (my mom's little sister, Sue Lane's husband), was in a falling accident Friday evening and is paralyzed.  Only time will tell if this is permanent, and it will be a long road no matter what.  The family seems to be in pretty good spirits, considering. There are so many variables to back injuries, so we just wait.  I don't care if you're a Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Atheist, whatever, but if you could, would you please send some good love, prayers and energy out there for him and the family? Much thanks.

In other, much less important news, our air conditioning appears to be broken.  In the car and in the house.

These kids...

Sleep in here...

Gracen is attempting to teach Avery how to watch TV.  We don't have official "TV" yet, but we've been hitting up the Red Box and the library quite frequently.  One can only survive so long with no Dora.

Also, the picture in the header is the view from the back deck.  Love.  Love.  Love.  Especially at night.

And also again, the other night while enjoying aforementioned view from back deck with boy while the babies were "sleeping," Gracen decided to unbolt the front door and go check the mail (at 10PM).  She was very proud of herself until I freaked out with the scare tactic of OH MY GOD, MEAN PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE AND THEY WILL COME AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM US IF YOU EVER, EVER, EVER GO OUTSIDE ALONE, ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT, EVER AGAIN!!  And then she didn't want to fall asleep because mean people were outside of her bedroom window waiting to kidnap her.  

it's so damn cold.

and I'm so very much lying.  People, it is a hot world in Texas.  Bearable at times with air conditioning, but it's really shockingly hot.  Profoundly hot.  If you make it out of the house before 10 AM, you can appreciate some 80 and 90 degree temps, but anything later, you will have triple digits.  I've lived the last two weeks with a constant layer of sweat on me.  Sexy, I know.  On the up side, I'm finally starting to shed some baby weight (after 14 1/2 months), perhaps due to the climate and chronic perspiration.  Only 20 lbs to go.  Perhaps I will have melted away completely before we make it back to NC...

So.  A report is in order.  Adam took the camera with the cute pictures out to some ranches today for work, so those will have to wait.  He also got a new work computer today, so I officially have mine back.  It's not that I mind sharing; it's just that it turns me into a crappy blogger.  But I'm back!!  For serious this time!!

We spent a wonderful couple of weeks in Weaverville with my entire family.  We got to see almost everyone, which was awesome.  My Mama, in all her generous glory, offered to ride down with us since Adam was leaving with the fellas a week or so earlier.  Plans were almost ditched for our road trip as the keys to the Tahoe disappeared a couple of hours before it was to leave NC with our dear friend Ryan.  We were just going to take a plane instead and leave the Tahoe for our NC car.  We all remember Avery playing with the keys at some point, walking around with them hanging out of her mouth (it was cute and I forgot to say no).  Anyway, AAA came through in time and a new key was made.  

The Holy Frog, baby doshi, disappeared for 24 hours.  A very, very, very, very, very ugly 24 hours.  I decided at the last minute to check the outside trash one last time.  I'm just going to ignore the maggots and mold and get on to the part where I tell you that I found the frog.  Again, Avery.  She's learned to throw things away in trash cans.  Good skill.

The car ride down was largely uneventful, and we made it further on day one than we had planned, all the way to Hope, AR.  We made it to Austin the following afternoon.  Mama stayed for a week, and I can't even talk about how sad it was when she left.  

Since then, we've just been trying to figure this place out.  I've been to see one play, "Love, Janis," which is the story and music of Janis Joplin, based on letters she wrote to her family from the time she left home until her early death.  Amazing.  The girls and I have found playgrounds, libraries, movie theaters (with baby days!) and grocery stores.  We have had two playdates.  Gracen starts school next week at Palaestra Academy.  She'll be going two days a week.  They have a rotation daily of swimming, gymnastics, art, academics and creative play.  Avery and I will start taking gymnastics for tots there during spring semester.  So, all in all, it's working out pretty okay here.  It doesn't feel like "home" quite yet, but this place is full of potential.

And our house is awesome.  It's big enough that Adam can work from home for a while, and we're out of his way.  We have a pool (that feels very much like bathtub water) and a killer view from the back deck.  It needs a little love, especially outside, but it's in a great spot, and we are very fortunate to be here.  We're almost out of boxes; the remaining ones have been hidden away in a basement bedroom, so I at least "feel" moved in.

The girls have transitioned beautifully.  Avery has jumped back into full time nursing, but other than that, has shown no signs of transitional angst.  Gracen has occasional grumpiness and some potty training regressions, but is mostly really happy getting out to explore the city.  She made a new friend, Greta, today and is ready for our next playdate.

I'm transitioning better than I expected.  I'm still a little sad at times, but generally pretty excited about this place.  If I have to be somewhere other than NC, Austin is a pretty awesome detour.

Come visit, please?!?!!

the list

sippy cups...check

baby doshi...check

avie baby...check

snacks...check

diapers and wipes...check

clothes...check

new DVD player...check

awesome stomach bug...check