Head Shots

Why can't I make a baby with normal hair?!?!?

(left is G, right is A)

Gracie-nola Bars

Gracen has become quite the kitchen helper. Her favorite recipe is, by far, granola bars. We never make them the same way twice, so feel free to take creative license based on what you have in the cabinet or what your toddler feels like dumping. The amounts don't need to be particularly exact, so no worries if your child feels like spooning out a teaspoon of sugar or handful of craisons for a mini taste test.

Today's creation...

Preheat oven to 350 F

Mix together dry ingredients:
2 C. rolled oats
1/2 C. whole wheat flour
1/2 C. wheat bran
1/4 C. flax seeds
1/4 C. chopped pecans
1/4 C. salted sunflower seeds
1/2 C. craisons
1/4 C. shredded coconut
1/4 C. brown sugar
1 tsp (or whatever Gracie shakes) pumpkin pie spice

In another bowl mix:
2 eggs
1/2 C. veggie oil
1/2 C. honey (just observed that if you pour your oil from the measuring cup followed by the honey, the honey slips right out without having to scrape (or lick) out)
1 tsp. vanilla

Pour wet mixture over dry and stir (or mix with hands if your child prefers). Line a 9X13 pan with wax paper, spray with cooking spray or whatever you have, dump mixture onto pan and press to edges.

Bake for 25 minutes, more or less depending on your oven.

After baking, gently slide from pan onto cooling rack. Slice with pizza cutter while still slightly warm.

You'll thank me for this, as will your kiddies!!

notes to my girls...yes, i'm a copycat.

Gracen,

You are lying in bed crying at the moment. You have a scratch on your elbow from a couple of days ago, which is feeling absolutely fine. I made the mistake of taking notice of it when I put you down for your nap, and now, through tears and walls, you are explaining to me how you need some ice and a towel to make it feel better since it hurts soooo bad. You learned the ice trick when you recently stuck your index finger into a freshly poured bowl of cream of wheat, and now any heat (lukewarm included) or tiny scratches or bumps are getting a passionate plea for ice therapy. I will not cave, though I'm sure all of your points are completely valid.

Since I started this blog almost two years ago, I've been planning on writing you notes to help us remember these phases of our lives. Obviously, until now, I have not done so. I've been reading various friends' and professionals' blog letters to their kids, and I'm always so moved. And then I think to myself, Damn, I really need to start writing you letters. Today I read a monthly letter from my friend Courtney (who is due any second now) to her daughter Charlie. After making me cry, it really got me thinking back to those last weeks with you before Aves. I spent a lot of time worrying about letting go of the security of our little world that we've had here together for two years. I worried that I would never be able to love another person the way I loved you, worried that you'd hate me and your daddy for rocking your world with another little life, worried that you'd want nothing to do with your sister, worried that I'd miss "us" so badly that I wouldn't be able to appreciate what our life was to become, worried that I wouldn't know what the hell I was doing.

But you, my sweet girl, have made this the most perfect phase of my life. Yes, I'm exhausted and sometimes cranky, but I'm also completely happy. You barely even seemed to notice that our world turned upside down with Avery's arrival. You just accepted her presence, and you love her completely. You give her pacies when she needs them, you sing her lullabies when she cries, you hug her and kiss her whenever you can. You don't like for strangers to hold her, often saying, "No, Avey back Mommy!" And you point very dramatically, so they know just where I am. And though I never thought possible, I love you even more now than I did back then in the midst of my worries.

You are hopelessly hilarious, even through (and often because of) your temper tantrums. You have a very specific sense of order and routine. Your daddy, for example, is not allowed to sit in Mama's seat at the dinner table without you falling apart and begging for him to move one seat over and vise versa. You separate your Kashi cereal into alike pieces and make little rows of them before eating them. You finally like to eat. It has taken 2 years and the emergence of peanut butter in your life. You have potty trained yourself in the last couple of weeks, with your parents doing nothing but leaving your diaper off and bathroom door open. You usually wash your hands without being asked. We went on a hike last weekend, and you let us know that you wanted to go pee-pee. So you squatted, rather gracefully, in the middle of the trail and proceeded to take a grand poo. You were so proud. And this weekend while at your Mimi and Papa Jim's while playing with your cousins, I looked across the yard at you and there you were with diaper off, pants at your ankles, squatting and peeing. You did not even ask for help. Yes, my little love, you absolutely rock.

Love,
Mama

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Avery,

You, my little Roo, are asleep in your crib. In your almost seven weeks of life, this is your third time there. During the day, you sleep pressed against me in your carrier, though we've been having occasional snoozes in your chair. At night you sleep beside me, nuzzled to my side. You don't wake for your feedings. You wiggle and grunt, and I feed you through partial sleep. This is the most well-rested I have been in nearly a year. At some point, you are going to have to move out into your room, or at least into a co-sleeper, but right now, I'm just still busy soaking you up, and I'm not ready to let go of the closeness.

I still can't believe you're almost seven weeks old. But at the same time, I've already forgotten what life was like before you. And any irrational fears about my ability to equally love two children were thrown out the window the second they put your plump little body into my arms. I can still stare at you for hours and tear up with happiness. You have made our family complete, and I can't wait to watch you grow.

I wrote out your birth story weeks ago, but had the misfortune of having it erased. Stupid technology. I will work on it again and soon, before I start to forget the details.

You have recently started to smile. They are still infrequent, but powerful when they're there. And I think you have dimples. You stare at your sister more than anyone, and my hope is that you'll love her the way I love my big sis and little bro. You have started tapering off on your evening crying spells for which we are thankful. It's so hard to hear you be so miserable, especially when we can do nothing to help. You are eating well, but spitting up often, and I wonder how you are possibly going to grow when I have three ounces of curdled breast milk rolling down my back or into my cleavage. But you do grow. At your one month check, you were 11 lbs 2 oz and 24 inches long. You're not even on their growth charts! And though you are technically ginormous for your age, you still seem so small and completely perfect. I love you so much.

Love,

Mama

i smell like soured milk.

This will have to be a post of pictures, as I'm just now getting a free moment to myself (it's 11:52 PM), and my brain is a big bowl of undifferentiated nothingness.

The family headed to Weaverville last weekend. Here's the Roo in her favorite position, overlooking Ghi-ghi and Pop's home site on Reynolds Mountain.Mama, the packhorse. I spend way too many of my days like this. And I wonder why my back still hurts...

Aunt Belle and Baby Aves being cute together.

Belle and baby getting their snooze on.

Cuz Sabrina, Ghigh, Avery, Belle and Mama

Belle and Gracen picking blackberries at Dry Ridge.We were quite lucky to be in Weaverville to attend our dear friend Kelli's wedding reception. She and her husband Joe were married on the beach in Savannah in May. Kelli is a phenomenal seamstress and made her wedding gown pictured above. It was a traditional German gown and BEAUTIFUL.

Gracen is teaching her buddy Lily Grey how to suck ketchup off of chick(soy) nuggets.
Hello, cuteness.
Goobers.

AAAs R 2 B BFs 4-Ever

These three little A-named ladies were all born within three weeks of each other and will undoubtedly be spending much time together in the coming years. Newest to the world is Miss Amelia Grace (left) and is daughter of Rachel and Edward. She's exactly a week younger than Avery. Sweet Aubrey is in the middle. It's hard to believe she was even smaller than Amelia just a few weeks ago. Avery Roo is on the right, showing off her legs due to an explosive poo a few minutes earlier. This shot is from our playgroup last week. Not pictured are Walker, Gracie, Charlie, and Charlie's soon-to-be sibling. Good times and good people.

We're having a blast around here. Gracen is still handling the transition of familial growth fabulously. She has her moments, but I've found if I can just throw in as many extra hugs and carries before she asks for them, she's less likely to ask at inopportune times. We've probably watched more TV than should be allowed lately, but we'll be banning it altogether shortly (or perhaps save it for the weekends). I'm in the process of setting us a more organized daily schedule that will be including some Montessori-based homeschooling. Though I am highly annoyed by scheduling, I know that I work better and am more effective under those restrictions. And I have to find a way to get everything done from taking care of and teaching Gracen, to housecleaning, to blogging, and to Avery.

Oh, sweet Avery.

As relatively easy as Avery is as a baby, she really is only so because the umbilical cord was never really severed, thus the nickname "Roo." This child is physically attached to me at ALL times. Periodically, I am able to pass her off to another, if she's in a very deep sleep or has a very full belly. Otherwise, she's strapped in the Ergo while I try to continue parenting Big G. With the exception of the first night in the NICU, she has slept next to me in direct contact every night since. If I dare move her four inches away to escape the heat, she wakes and fusses until she is back in place. As sweet as the closeness is, all day and all night, I am beginning to feel a need for some separation. It would be nice to go to the grocer alone, gym alone, wash dishes alone, pee alone...

Napping peacefully (was removed from Ergo five minutes before pic was taken)...

Sister comes to visit and wakes me up...

Something is wrong...I'm not attached...

And the universe starts to crumble...

(back in Ergo 30 seconds later)

Aves and her Ghi-ghi. She slept there for two whole hours!! Please come back, Ghigh.

Pops and Ghi-ghi came to visit this past weekend. Gracen had a fabulous time bossing them around. Hopefully, we'll see you later tonight!

Aunt Hannah and her boyfriend Kelvin came to meet Avery the other night. (We like this boy!) Sadly, Hannah was sick right after Avery's arrival, so she's been staying away to prevent contamination. Gracias. It's a shame because the girl has mad skillz at getting babies to sleep and I could have used her babybounce many times before now!

Oh, mean Mr. Bloggerman...

I have spent the past FIVE days writing out our birth story. I had left the post "open" on the computer because Blogger was refusing to save, so I was just adding bit by bit since I seem to be lacking time (for some reason). Anyway, we had a power outage, and my eloquently sentimental story has been lost forever. I'll try a do-over at some point, but right now the bitterness won't allow it. Basic summary: day-long labor, hurt like hell, pushed less than ten minutes, and ended up in the hospital with a completely healthy child. Funny that Adam and I go out of our way to have a non-hospital birth, yet end up in the hospital BOTH times with perfectly healthy children. The problem seems to be that I push too quickly--Gracen 12 minutes and Avery 8-9 minutes. I assure you that this DOES NOT make the process less painful. Babies, apparently, need to have their little lungs squished a little longer, and I don't give them ample opportunity for this. All this really means is that they breathe a little fast at first and the oxygen levels take a little longer to settle. This is not a problem and doesn't mean they are sick at all. However, these are the same "symptoms" that a child would have if they were brewing an infection, thus the hospital transfer. It takes 48 hours for the blood cultures to return, so "just in case," the kiddies are hit up with massive amounts of antibiotics while we wait for results. In the end, NOTHING was wrong with either. With Gracen, she was admitted to the pediatric floor, and we were able to stay in the room with her. With Avery, policies had changed, and she had to be transferred in an ambulance (without her parents!) and admitted to the NICU. They admitted me as well to postpartum, just so I would be close by to breastfeed, which she has done nonstop for 19 days. It was a little funny to see this nearly 10 pounder resting between a 2 and 3 pounder. And the poor thing was hopelessly swollen as well from such a long labor and crazy head position, which made her look even bigger next to them. It truly did look like I had birthed a toddler.
But all is well, and this new phase of life is fabulous. Avery looks and acts exactly like Gracen at that age. She sleeps well, cries rarely, and eats like a champ. She is a bit clingier than Gracen was and is really only happy when physically attached to me. I don't mind; it's good for my ego. And I'm hopelessly in love with this new little person, so she's welcome to stay attached as long as she likes!!
Gracen is handling the transition well. She loves to help out and give her little sister hugs and kisses. She even lets Froggy cuddle up with her. I also need to report a huge milestone today:

GRACEN POOPED IN THE POTTY!!!!!!

Okay, that's all for today. Must organize my life before the girlies wake up...

I've missed you.

Avery Ana's Home!!!

Avery and Mom got home late Friday night. Shanna is exhausted and sore (as you'd imagine), but she's remarkably well for delivering a child of Avery's girth! Avery's living life like an old pro. She occupies her time mostly by sleeping and eating--with VERY little crying.

We'll write more in the coming days, but until then, here's a picture of the newbie.

Thanks to Jessica for the previous posts announcing the labor's progress and the arrival of Avery Ana.

Lookie!!!

Update: from Ghi-Ghi
"I am one of the lucky ones that got to see Avery Ana (she got the middle name this afternoon). She will be in the NIC unit at Chapel Hill Hospital for 48 hrs. I think because of a fever earlier in the day. She's trying to follow big sister Gracen's entrance into the world by getting sent to the hospital. Gracie was about speechless when she saw her today but talked about her non stop after we left the birth center. Aunt Belle is coming tomorrow. Shanna has been admitted to hospital in room 6W19.Congratulations Mom & Dad on another amazing infant. Ghi-Ghi"

Thanks Ghi-GhiWhat a sweet chunk!!! Awww, I love her. And Shanna looks like she's got your nose!!

She's here
She's here
Hooray!!!

Avery [no middle name yet]
born June 4, 2008 at 1:29pm
weighing in at 9lbs 14oz

You heard me 9lbs 14ozs!!!!!! after 17 hours of labor Shanna delivered that beast of a baby all natural! What a champ! Shanna and baby are doing well. Adam says Avery is just beautiful, a total girl. If I get any pictures I will post them but likely they will come from Daddy back home.

Oh hurray I am so excited for our Riggsbee's!!

Her water broke...

She is pushing!!!!!

update

Jessica here, just got off the phone with Ghi-Ghi (Shanna's sweet mama). We really need to be praying and sending our thoughts to Shanna and Avery right now. They found out last night that Avery has her hand or arm up beside her head somehow. Since this can be very traumatizing during labor (for both mom and baby) they gave her some heavy medication to stop the labor and give Avery more time to move into the correct position. Shanna is home and completely exhausted. She has likely been in labor for 2 weeks but due to this she has not been able to be born. All I know of the next steps is that they will wait a little longer and see if Avery moves and labor returns.

Please Please Please be thinking and praying for Avery to move and Shanna to be able to have as natural of a delivery as possible and soon. I will keep you as up to date as possible.

On thier way...

Just off the phone. 11:30pm, and they are on their way to the birth center. No details but things are actually happening people!!!!!

It worked!!!

I hope I dont "jinx" anything but i had to make sure it worked.

This my friend is Jessica. All the way in Colorado. I just talked to Shanna. She is still pregnant, but hopefully not for long. She is contracting every 3-4 minutes and not comfortably, she was not able to talk for long. This is a very good sign. She said she went to the midwives today and they checked her out. 4 cm and 0 station. Avery's head is in a funny position so it is not putting enough pressure on her cervix and her water is just waiting to break. They have assured her THIS is the final 24 hours......finger's crossed.

Come on Avery you can do it!!!

Happy Eight

I'm hoping that as you read this, I might also be holding our second child. Today, June 3rd, is our anniversary. Someday, I'll write our full love story out. It's been a good one. Today marks 8 years of marriage. We had a relatively speedy journey to wedded bliss. We knew after a few months, or perhaps weeks, that we wanted to be married. We were officially engaged after six months, and on our one year anniversary, went to the justice of the peace to get married. We never really had a vision for a wedding--the when, the where, the specifics. For us, it was just about spending our lives together, which we were doing, and we didn't find much importance in planning for the minutia of a day. However, after standing in the line for about 3 minutes, which incidentally is the same line one waits to pay parking violations or get a car tag, we quickly ran to the parking lot and called my mother. Three months to the day, she and my sister planned a wedding. A real one. And we showed up. The only thing that I put much effort into was finding the right readings and song. The following still remains my favorite poem of all time and is even more true to "us" now than it was on that day.

Boy o' mine, I love you.

Resignation by Nikki Giovanni

I love you

because the earth turns round the sun

because the North wind blows north

sometimes

because the Pope is Catholic

and most Rabbis Jewish

because winters flow into springs

and the air clears after a storm

because only my love for you

despite the charms of gravity
keeps me from falling off this Earth

into another dimension

I love you

because it is the natural order of things

I love you

like the habit I picked up in college

of sleeping through lectures
or saying I’m sorry

when I get stopped for speeding

because I drink a glass of water

in the morning

and chain-smoke cigarettes

all through the day

because I take my coffee black

and my milk with chocolate

because you keep my feet warm
though my life a mess

I love you

because I don’t want it

any other way.

I am helpless

in my love for you

It makes me so happy

to hear you call my name

I am amazed you can resist

locking me in an echo chamber

where your voice reverberates

through the four walls

sending me into spasmatic ecstasy

I love you

because it’s been so good

for so long

that if I didn’t love you

I’d have to be born again

and that is not a theological statement

I am pitiful in my love for you

The Dells tell me Love

is so simple

the thought though of you

sends indescribably delicious multitudinous

thrills throughout and through-in my body

I love you

because no two snowflakes are alike

and it is possible

if you stand tippy-toe

to walk between the raindrops

I love you

because I am afraid of the dark

and can’t sleep in the light

because I rub my eyes

when I wake up in the morning

and find you there

because you with all your magic powers were determined that

I should love you

because there was nothing for you but that

I would love you

I love you

because you made me

want to love you

more than I love my privacy

my freedom my commitments

and responsibilities

I love you ‘cause I changed my life

to love you

because you saw me one Friday afternoon

and decided that I would

love you

I love you I love you I love you

nope

nada.

nothing.

you've got to be kidding me...

i can't even stand to write it...

uh-huh...

still prego.

contracting regularly, sometimes uncomfortably.

this means ABSOLUTELY nothing, as i've been doing this for weeks now.

apparently, we're having a june baby.

Happy 10th Birthday to Athena Marie!!

seriously...

I'M STILL PREGNANT.

Just Kidding!!! That was mean, eh? I'm still very pregnant and have resigned myself to the fact that I may be so for weeks to come. This lil' photo gem is Gracen's first picture ever taken. Cutie-patutie. And while you think me cruel for a little joke here, won't it be nice to have a quick comparison for sister likeness? See, I'm doing you a favor...

all in good time...so they tell me.

Perhaps this picture says it all. I took another dosage of the ol' castor oil today and twice as much as before. While it was more gentle than the last time (you'd prefer that I not expand here--you're welcome), it seemed to be "working" in terms of bringing on labor. I was ecstatic. Starting around two, contractions became regular though not painful enough to constitute real labor. I called the birth center around 6:30 to inform them of the potential Miss Aves appearance. I was told to take a walk for an hour. We did. Contractions lengthened, accelerated, strengthened. YIIPPPYYY!!! Called midwife back. She said to come in for a check around 8:00. Did. I was lectured on taking the castor oil, told not to do it again, and sent on my merry way. And Adam sat there with a lovely told-ya-so-neurofreakazoid-smirk on his face. Since being home, they have weakened even more, and I am conceding. I give up. I will try no more (I don't think) to force this baby out. I know she has her own schedule and I should respect that.
And these two cheeseballs have been living it up while I pout around the house, seeking new ways of making the universe bend to my desires (and also take multiple naps). I think tomorrow, I'm just gonna play with them.