Okie-dokie...

Formal Excuses for Blogging Absence:

1. Laptop hates me and no longer wants to connect to the Internet consistently.

2. We have another computer from which to work, however, I'm reorganizing our lives, and it hasn't been a true "safe zone" for a crazy toddler.

3. I could blog during Gracen's nap time, but I keep falling asleep.

4. I'm pregnant, and my brain's not working properly anymore.

5. Gracen keeps distracting me.

6. I could also blog after Adam gets home from work and puts the baby to bed, but he's cute and sweet, and I'd rather hang out with him. Carolina basketball just started back up (and he has season tickets again), so I should have more alone time on my hands.

TAG--I'm it! 10 random facts about me:

1. I once hiked the Grand Canyon from rim to river and back out in one day. It's not something I recommend doing.

2. I used to have a pet goat named Barley and a pony named Sam. I rode them both, but Barley didn't seem to appreciate it as much.

3. I once broke up with a boy because I got a dog (Athena).

4. I drink a pint of water in about four seconds (out of a beer glass). I can't sip it. I believe in efficiency of hydration.

5. Before Adam and I started dating, I would follow him around the library and observe his hottiness. He was always wearing tie-dye shirts and had long, lovely hair.

6. I scored 200 points higher on the math section of the SAT than the verbal, however, I decided to be an English major and didn't take a single math class in college.

7. In high school, my sister and I would wake up an hour earlier than necessary, wash our hair, and go back to sleep with our heads hanging off the bed. This was to make it curl properly. We were eventually introduced to a diffuser, and realized we could achieve the exact same, if not better, effect in about 7 minutes.

8. I have always been hopelessly ignorant in matters of popular culture. I have recently discovered Perez Hilton (thank you Amy), and feel a little more in the know.

9. I have Sirius Satellite radio in my car. I got it because I had been commuting an hour a day at my last job. I now travel in my car 20 minutes per week, maybe. But during this whole time that I've had the 200 or so channels of commercial free entertainment, I keep it on two channels: Sirius Hits One (to help in the aforementioned pop ignorance) and the Coffee House because it makes me happy. And Adam comes in and starts playing with all the settings and channels and gets me all mixed up. I like my little box. Please let me stay there.

10. My favorite sound in the world is Gracen saying, "Mama." She says many other things too, but nothing gets me like that one.

So now I must tag others, and you must post 10 little known facts about yourself. So, I tag Annie because she's an inconsistent blogger (she's probably forgotten her password again), Robert because he's silly and needs to step up on the blogging as well, Shannon because she's pregnant and wonderful and so far away, Leigh because she makes me giggle and I need to know her better, Brooke because her posts always have very cute pics of Lily Grey and I miss them both, and Adam because this is his blog too and should be responsible for contributing.

Lil' Riggle cousins from early Thanksgiving festivities Saturday. Gracen is a huge fan, and they seem to love her back just as much. To quote little Jon-jon, "That baby loves me!"

Gracen and Ghi-ghi being silly. She is very good at saying "Ghigh."

Cuteness.

Gracen in her new chair. We're having a hard time getting her to smile for pictures. We're also having a hard time getting her to keep her pants and diapers on. Any suggestions?

Don't Let Babies Play With Cameras

I have been noticing for the last few weeks that my pictures have not been looking particularly fabuloso. I assumed it was because Gracen sometimes plays with and also licks the the camera, lens included. After a thorough cleaning, I realized that dried saliva was not the issue after all; rather, the child seems to have adjusted my resolution settings. It should be noted that I do not know how to set my resolution without my handy-dandy owner's manual. I think we're fixed now, so upcoming pictures should be much more vibrant. Silly baby. Maybe she wants to be a photographer some day...

For Halloween, Gracen was a frog (naturally) and Walker was Curious George. Sadly, the pictures were few and did not completely capture how devastatingly precious they were. We went Trick-or-Treating at the homes of some friends and then went back to our neighbors' house for dinner. Amy made a butternut squash lasagna, which may have been one of the best things I've ever ingested in my life. We had a lovely time. But with two toddlers, two prego-ladies, and two beer drinking papas, we were quite the tired bunch by 8:30.

(Above: G sporting Mama's Oprah boots)

I thought I may have moved past my pukiness this week. I had one completely normal day, followed by two semi-normal days. I forgot how much I liked my former self. I had energy, I smiled all day, we played nonstop, I didn't take naps. But it returned, this new hormonally-challenged me. I know I'm coming to the end of it, and it can't get here quickly enough. We went to the midwives on Wednesday and listened to his little heart. Gracen went with me, which may never happen again. She HAD to sit with me during the exam, so when the midwife was checking for the heartbeat, Gracen decided to play Ride-the-Mama, jumping and laughing like a maniac. We could never get the doppler to hold the tone long enough to count. Based on my fine medical skills (and my OCD listening of Gracen's heartbeat with my rented doppler), I'd guess it was about 140 bpm. We go for our 18-week big ultrasound on December 21st. So grandparents and aunts and uncles, you may want to go gender-neutral for this little one for Christmas.

Somehow Gracen is still thriving, despite the fact that she eats about four bites, three times a week. Last night, however, I fed her some plain whole wheat spaghetti noodles, which turned into 45 minutes of the best eating experience of her life. She was amazed by them and ate tons. While I realize there is very little nutritional value in plain noodles, perhaps we are turning a corner in our palate development. Towards the end, she decided to throw the remaining pasta high into the air. It really is very pretty when it flies.

Before we lose power...

Hi. 'Member me? I have absolutely no excuses for being such a loserbloggerwoman. All I can do is ask your forgiveness. Here's some randomness from our blog vacation:

1. Gracen can take off all her clothes without any assistance whatsoever. She hides behind the couch and does this (and sometimes in the crib), and pops out to reveal her great accomplishment. She also removes her diaper. This is becoming a problem.

2. Walker Blue has been TWO for a whole week now. We love him. Gracen hasn't seen him yet today, and I think she's upset about it. She calls him Wau. She just saw his picture here on the computer, and keeps yelling his name and shaking the gate to go downstairs. AND, he can say my name!!! I almost cried the first time he did it.

3. It's raining. This is huge. We're are in a desperate drought, and we have a very real threat of losing water altogether. We might possibly get 4-5 inches out of this system, so we're hoping for the best. Bring it on. I'll even be okay with losing power for a while, which we typically do every time it rains. Of course, it hasn't rained in months, so this hasn't been an issue.

4. Gracen has been permattached to me all day. It is very hard to write this post. We're in a very sweet, slightly frustrating, clingy phase.

5. I hate diapers of all varieties. The disposables leak now too. EVERY NIGHT. Adam missed out on a lovely playdate last night from 2-4:30. We're 10 minutes away from nap time. I get one too.

6. I'm ready for Christmas.

7. And snow.

8. Gracen LOVES farmer's market blackberries. And Curious George and Clifford, which she's watching in the above photos. I hate letting her watch TV, but we have such a difficult time getting her to eat anything, and TV seems to focus her long enough to eat while she watches. I know. Don't judge.

9. I seem to still be pregnant. I haven't thrown up since yesterday.

10. We're convinced this baby is a boy. I'm not sure why, but I'm convinced in the same way I felt Gracen was always a girl. He'll be wearing an awful lot of dresses and pastels and flowers.

11. I'm already showing. Seriously. I'm nine weeks pregnant and I look at least four months along. I'm trying not to freak out too much, but I got me a belly. Again. Amy, who is only a week ahead of me, and I are trying to continue working out. We're doing a surprisingly good job, considering we both feel likes piles o' poo. I WILL NOT GAIN ANOTHER SIXTY POUNDS!!! I have to keep reminding myself of this, as the desire to head to a fast food chain for some fries and a milkshake is a little overwhelming at times. I would like to proudly add that I have not had a milkshake yet. We're not going to talk about the fries (or hashbrowns or cheesytots).

12. My back is not in good condition. I had these same sciatic issues when pregnant with Gracen. I went to chiropractor the other day and learned that they now have massage therapists, and MY INSURANCE COVERS THIRTY MASSAGES A YEAR!!!! I think Adam may be as excited as I am. Guess what I'm doing Saturday at noon?!!

13. Fleas. I don't want to talk about it.

14. I still haven't started Gracen's baby book. She's 17 1/2 months old. Nor have I printed out pictures in over a year. I'm a terrible mother.

15. Due Date: May 27, 2008

16. G's down for nap time. I'm going too...

Before I Brush My Teeth...

I thought we should talk. If I wait until after I brush my teeth, I will be crumbled on the couch in the fetal position, making my 17-month old child wait on me. She's an excellent nurse. I'm afraid her development is going to be hampered until after this trimester, as my energetic, creative, educator-self is long gone. I am a pathetic shell of my former self.

I don't remember feeling this way when I was pregnant with Gracen. I think in part it was because I had started a new job at new school as a counselor, and the learning curve kept me engaged and focused. I do recall getting sick on my 30 minutes trek home and coming home to take 3-4 hour naps, waking for a few hours, and going back to sleep. Perhaps I don't remember the ickiness because I slept through most of it.

This go around, however, I become nauseous as soon as I brush my teeth. The longer I can put it off, the more time I have to feel "normal." But you have to break down eventually. If we can manage to leave the house in the morning, I feel much better, but by the time we get home for Gracen's nap time, I'm ready to crash too. And I do. Yesterday, she woke an hour before me. I heard her, but she was reading her books, playing and laughing in the crib, so I fell back out. I'm trying to justify my poor parenting as giving her independent learning time.

The rest of the afternoon seems to be a downward spiral of pukiness, and I fall asleep feeling like I have a stomach flu. The idea of food is disgusting, and my husband and child are going to starve.

I don't mean to complain, though I obviously am. I am excited about who is growing in there and hold none of my pitifulness against him. I think it's a boy, though my dreams so far are split on the sex.

We plan on going back to the Women's Birth and Wellness Center, a free-standing birth center, as the idea of a hospital is more scary to me than the pain of labor. I would love to have a home birth, but after our drama last go around, this is probably our best option. Gracen entered the world very quickly (13 minutes), which caused some issues for both of us. If all goes well with this delivery, we can leave 4 hours after the birth. I'm trying to avoid thinking about labor. Adam thinks I've forgotten the pain of that day, but I assure you, I am very well aware of it and am less than enthusiastic about feeling that again. I'm sure that as my body becomes increasingly uncomfortable, I'll change my perspective on the process.

So, the due date. I have no idea. The sonographer has no idea. Based on LMP, which was actually an early miscarriage, it's is May 27th. According to the measurements of the fetal pole, it's June 2nd. According to measurements of the gestational and yolk sacs, it's around May 30th. According to my calendar, I'm clueless. Nothing adds up. I go to see my midwives next Wednesday, so the doctor yesterday said that we'll let them decide.

Okay, we have to go to the grocer, which means I have to brush my teeth. I'm a woman on a mission. Wish us luck.

Photo above: a Binky Kiss

Let's Make it Official.

Alrighty, I have the go ahead. We can make it official. Gracen's gonna be a big sister!! I would write more now, but I want to throw up and am going to nap while the kid is slumbering.

I will really update later today...

The Battle

Check out my new teeth!!

I don't really believe in wars. I don't like unnecessary deaths. I don't like conflict. I'm what one might call a pacifist. I believe in getting along, living in harmony, the pursuit of happiness and unity. I don't kill spiders or mice. And I'm generally okay with our copperheads as long as they stay 100 yards from the structure of the home. And I've ignored the black snake living in the siding. I figure he can deal with the mice, so we don't have to. We have pet squirrels and deer. And the people couldn't be more perfect. Typically, we have a nice lil' piece of Utopia out here on McGregor.

Well, it was until the Invasion. And my sweet, gentle, peace-loving nature, has become bitter, hateful, and 75% of my thoughts have been on death and destruction. I've been doing exhaustive research on how best to become a murderer, to KILL.

Friends, we got fleas. Our dear dogs (we love you ladies), while appropriately Frontlined, have managed to hit a pocket of neurotoxin-resistant parasites. I hate them, the fleas. With a very intense passion, I loathe them from the very core of my being. I'm sure they serve a place in the evolutionary world, in fact, I know the specifics of this because I am ridiculously learned in the history and life cycle of the flea. I don't want to know this much. It angers me that I might become a leading expert on the subject.

I really tried to be nice about it. I started gently, with excessive vacuuming, bathing of the dogs, warm lamps at night over little bowls of soapy water. We moved on to Borax on the carpets, the flea shampoo, the re-washing of all potentially contaminated linen and stuffed animals.

But sometimes, you just have to break down and go for the big guns. Adam sent Gracen and I away to his parents' house, which was a wonderful visit. While we socialized, ate good food, napped, etc., he was home recleaning everything in preparation for the bombing. I'm very proud of his fumigation abilities, but hopefully he won't have to use such a wonderful skill set again.

Since our arrival home, we've only had a few unwelcome visitors. At first we were afraid the fogging hadn't worked, but have since learned that they were probably just in the "pupae" (otherwise known as the unkillable) stage during the bombing and emerged afterwards. I vacuumed again for about three hours Monday and again yesterday, and I think they're gone. The dogs have been "Capstared" and "Advantaged," and seem to be at peace again. Seriously, if you ever have any questions on anything pertaining to a damn flea, I'm your woman.

Back from Tejas.

Adam and I just returned from a long weekend without our child. We headed down to Texas to see Uncle Paul, one of my mother's best friends from childhood. My mom stayed at our house with Gracen, and I'm pretty sure she would have preferred for us to stay away much longer. Gracen showed no signs of missing us while we were away, but became clingy and cranky upon our arrival. I am assuming this meant she just became aware of how desperately she had been missing us and needed to express her sadness at our separation. She has been hopelessly spoiled in our absence was very sad to see her Ghi-ghi leave this morning.

Mama also had a birthday dinner for me last night with some friends. It helped cushion the blow of becoming 30 to be surrounded by the people I love. Thank you so much for everything you did Mama. I hope Gracie grows up to love me as much as I love you.

Thoughts on Thirty: I think my cousin Olivia's call to me yesterday summed it up best when she said, "Dang, you're old." She will be turning 17 tomorrow. Thanks Livi. If I didn't love you so much, I'd have to hate you a little bit. I'm trying to run through my list of goals for my 30th year, and much like my 25th year, which was also packed with would-be accomplishments, I've managed to skip over so many. My travel log is short, my novels unpublished (and unwritten), my languages are all still foreign, etc.

But for all that I've ended up not achieving as I had planned, I find myself happier and more complete than I have ever been. I am surrounded by people that lift me up and motivate me to be the best version of myself and who love me unconditionally in spite of my shortcomings. I have a child that amazes me and that I love beyond reason and sanity. I have the love of my life, who I know without question loves me back just as crazy and hard, even when I'm not so lovable. My body and mind are healthy. I may be a little more wrinkly and a little saggier, and my hair's a little frizzier and unmanageable. But I'm okay with it. It's just proof that I've been around a time or two. I'm still just me, perhaps the best me so far. I'm grateful for my 30 years.

I think I'll skip making a list for 40.

View of Lake Austin from Shepherd Mountain home.

Paul and Adam, lounging on the patio at the ranch.

View of Lake Travis from ranch.

View from Deep Woods home, overlooking Austin.

Winery, somewhere between Lago Vista and Marble Falls.

More of the vinyards...I love wine. I didn't drink any...

My husband's famous!!

The dam doctor we live with was on the news tonight! If you click on "video," you can see his handsome face.

http://www.nbc17.com/midatlantic/ncn/news.apx.-content-articles-NCN-2007-09-13-0014.html

We love our smart guy...

let's pretend it's monday...

...that way, I'm only a day late for my Sunday post and wonderfully early for my Wednesday post. I feel my new rule to self is going poorly. I don't think I like deadlines. Dear Cotton Mamas,

I was wrong, dead wrong. I have given several of you advice on how to appropriately wash diapers. This was based on extensive Internet research and personal trial periods. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I've been having an issue with Gracen's BumGenius diapers leaking. I had assumed she's just a super-soaker, but it's been getting increasingly worse. I finally broke down and called cottonbabies yesterday (1-888-33-BABIES) and she asked me to tell my story. She had a gentle voice, speaking in a very caring, counseloresque manner. I immediately fell in love with her as my new best friend. I told her of my cold soak, usually with a dab (1/2 cup) of baking soda. My washing on "hot" with the "natural" detergent and occasional dashes of white vinegar. This is followed by the 90 minutes of drying on medium, followed then by another 15-30 minutes of drying on high (which I know is bad, but they just won't dry).

After my story, she said, so sweetly, "That's wonderful that you have such a good system. I bet you're a great mom! Listening to you, I'm noticing a few things that might help you out. First of all, you should never, ever use baking soda. This will eventually rip out the elasticity in your fabric and damage seams. And that's true of vinegar too. I bet that's disappointing for you because they both seem to make a lot of sense. Also, there are only a few natural detergents that you can actually use (and here she went on for a while about enzymes and Gracen was running around squealing and really, I have no clue what she said). So it sounds to me like your liners are just repelling, but we can fix it, so you're going to be just fine. This happens all the time, sweetie. It's just those darn detergents."

So here's how you fix them: You wash them as hot as possible with nothing but DAWN dish detergent. If you have a front loader, just use a tablespoon or two. You want them to be frothy, but not explode out of the washer. And then you wash again. And then you wash again, but this time with nothing but water. (yes, that was THREE washes, though you may not need that if they're only slightly repelling liquids) And after that, it may be necessary to do a cold rinse and spin. It was for us, as I seem to have gotten a little too excited with the Dawn on the second cycle. And after 60 minutes of drying on medium heat, they were dry. woooooo-weeeeeee!!! I'm hoping that this has been the source of our trouble for our "outing" leakages. We may even get so bold as to try them at night again.

My other concern was the stinkiness, which was why I had started the baking soda and vinegar in the first place. We have incredibly hard water (which can be fixed fore a mere $4K-7K), so residues from cleaners and whatnot build up over time. The lady's solution for this is 1/16 to 1/8 of a cup of bleach every month or so as needed. I hate the idea of getting bleach that close to my baby's bum, but we'll do what we must.

Jess, you're probably going to have to do this to yours, as I feel quite certain I destroyed them before you got them. Jo, yours are probably okay since my inexperience and pollutants hadn't hit them yet. I just ordered a gallon of detergent from cottonbabies, which is the one they feel is best all-around.

Good luck ladies, and I'm sorry for steering you wrong. My advice would be to check out this help page. They told me there is a list of detergents somewhere, but I'm still searching.

1) 2) 3)

1) Happy baby, sporting new ponytail look 2)Excited baby, getting ready to go swing 3)Miserable baby, had to come back inside from swinging and VERY angry at her mother.

I'll try to have a more interesting post next time...but I love you...and I'm glad your visiting...

Happy, Happy Day!!!!!!

Trisha Marie, one of our favorite people in the universe, is turning 30 today!! We hope you have a fabulous day, dear friend. (I'm right behind you...)
LOVE YOU!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

insomnia.

Calm down, folks. It's still Wednesday--I haven't broken my new rule just yet...

Looking back on our first phase of teething, the process seems to have been quite insignificant in my memories. I vaguely remember some excessive drooling, some clinging, but not much else. I'm pretty sure I whined about it, as I tend to do, but I really think that it wasn't all that bad.

But teeth get bigger the further you go back in that lil' head, and there are a lot more of them. I'm very, very aware of that now. Molars are not fun. The daytime is fine. Gracen is easily distracted and amused by the world and her "sponginess" at the moment. But nights, oh the nights. Perhaps it is because all the blood rushes to one's head whilst asleep and makes areas more sensitive, but whatever the case, I haven't slept in two weeks. That may be a little dramatic, as it probably hasn't been two weeks yet (though it feels like months), and I do sleep periodically. We have reverted much to the life of a newborn. Though had we had the normal newborn sleeping pattern experience, I might be toughened up for this current madness. Gracie, however, and I don't mean to brag but will, has more or less slept through the night since she arrived, give or take a few sleepy feedings. We have/had been blessed.

I've been moving into the guestroom, typically by 2 AM, where I get to spend the next couple of hours cuddling with, wrestling with, playing with my beautiful child. She pokes me in the eyeball, saying "eye!" with a wonderful southern drawl and squeezes my nose (we've been working on body parts lately). She hides Froggy under the covers and wants me to play peek-a-boo with him, which I do. She sticks her pacies in my mouth with a "num-num." She throws pillows off the bed singing, "uh-oh" then does it again and again and again. The next part I love: she finally snuggles up, just where she wants to be, and sleeps. It's wonderful. I lie there awake for another 30 minutes or so, thinking about our lives together, getting all mushy and corny. And then she wakes back up, timing it just perfectly to me finally slipping off to dreamland. And then we repeat. and repeat...

She's in bed now, dosed up on motrin and tylenol. I'm hoping for the best.

Photos are from Labor Day hike down by the lake.

Tar Heel born and Tar Heel bred...

Happy almost Labor Day, friends!! We haven't yet decided what our big plans will be, but we assume we'll be outdoors. Perhaps we'll hit some trails or a nice, slow river.

Yesterday was an exciting day, as we made it to our first UNC sporting event as a family unit. We were successful and enthusiastic and well-behaved for one whole quarter. We left before we made a scene. But for that first quarter, which Adam claims is the best quarter of a football game anyway, our girl was a champ. She clapped when appropriate and threw her arms up when we made touchdowns. The latter is a skill her Daddy has been teaching her when they watch soccer. She can also yell "Gooooaaaaaalllll" for an extended period of time, much like the Spanish-speaking announcers, which she did beautifully for our Tar Heels.

After leaving the game, we headed back towards Franklin Street, passing the Old Well and letting her frolic on the quad. This was, at least for me, just as exciting as the game. We were eaten by mosquitoes (Adam sustained no bites, as usual), tripped over roots and ran into trees, hugged a fire hydrant, chased squirrels, laughed and ran, and pitched a terrible fit when we had to head back to the car.

I love my little family, and I love this town.